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Tuesday, November 8, 2011

day 2. rain

Christopher called today. The weakness in his voice sickens me. I'm so fucking tired of feeling responsible for everyone else's happiness. He did what he felt he "needed" to do. Fine. So then live with your decision. My head is spinning from this place. The rules. MY GOD. All the rules. No caffeine. No newspapers. No over-the-counter medications. It's all a major power trip for all the hypocrites.

I'm so tired I feel like my brain is going to bust through my skull. The last thing I need is his pathetic voice whispering how sorry he is, how he just wants me to get well, how it's for my own safety. Hahaha. It's such a joke. They talk to me like I'm fucking 8 years old.

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Everyone is an expert. They have all the answers. And I just want to sleep. To silence all the noise. Where does the chase end? I'm just so tired...all i want to do is lie here and listen to the rain.
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3 comments:

  1. TadeyGurlDecember 13, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    What is this? sleep deprivation therapy? eff that.

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  2. AnonymousDecember 13, 2011 at 4:51 PM

    Just play along, it will get better, gotta learn how to play da game girl!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousDecember 13, 2011 at 5:22 PM

    Don't fall to the pity in his voice. Don't get better for anyone but you. People will continue to disappoint you. If you get better for someone else, when they leave you have no reason to live. Get better because there are crazy amazing things to experience in this world-whether you are with someone or not. Do it because you dare yourself that you can.

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